When Your Overachieving Brain Is Actually the Problem

I recently read an article that made me feel very seen - in a slightly uncomfortable, “okay, wow, calm down” kind of way. It was about how stress hijacks our ability to be productive. And while it was aimed at professionals in general, I couldn’t stop thinking about how closely it mirrors what I see (and experience) as a high-achieving woman.

It’s not just that we’re stressed. It’s that we’re quietly spiraling while still managing to color-code the family calendar, remember to Venmo the soccer team manager, lead the Monday meeting, meal prep, and answer texts with too many exclamation points so no one thinks we’re mad.

We’re doing all the things - but not the things that actually need our full attention. Or at least, not in the way we want to.

According to the article (and let’s be honest, according to our lived experience), chronic stress doesn’t just make us tired - it actually hijacks the brain’s ability to focus. When we’re overwhelmed, our brains switch into survival mode. Our nervous system goes on high alert. We start scanning for threats instead of clarity. And suddenly, writing a simple email feels like wading through wet cement.

Here’s how it shows up for a lot of us: you sit down to focus and end up scrolling. You write the same sentence five different ways and delete all of them. You get mad at yourself for not being productive, which ironically makes it harder to do anything productive. And then you tell yourself, “I’ll power through this tonight,” when you’re already exhausted and three days behind on sleep.

Sound familiar? Yeah. Me too.

So what do we do when our default setting is “do more,” but our brain is waving a white flag?

Here’s what I took away from the research - and what I’ve found to be surprisingly helpful in my own life and work with other women.

First, get outside. I know. It sounds too simple to be effective. But the research is clear - being in nature helps reset the nervous system. Even a quick walk outside, five minutes under a tree, or stepping away from your screen to look out the window can calm that mental buzz. No, it won’t write your proposal for you - but it will make your brain a more pleasant place to live while you do it.

Second, move your body - but not because it burns calories or checks a box. Move to release some of that nervous energy. When you’re feeling edgy, anxious, or stuck, your body needs a way to move that stress through. Stretching, walking, dancing in your kitchen - it all counts. Movement isn’t a detour from productivity. It’s the road back to it.

Third, and this is one of my personal favorites: clear your digital clutter. When I’m feeling overwhelmed, I’ve started paying attention to what’s open. Tabs. Apps. Half-written drafts. Thirty-second voice memos I forgot to listen to. It adds up. And it sends a signal to my brain that nothing is done. Closing a few windows (literally and metaphorically) gives my brain space to breathe again. I don’t need to organize my whole life - I just need to not feel like I’m living inside a desktop crash.

And then there’s the one we all avoid: take a real break. Not the kind where you’re still halfway checking email or folding laundry while “relaxing.” I’m talking about a complete pause. Sit in silence. Stare at the ceiling. Sip your coffee without multitasking. Let your mind wander. Give your nervous system time to downshift. If you feel guilty doing this, it probably means you really need to.

None of these strategies are flashy. They’re not downloadable templates or morning routines with ten steps. But they work. They work because they help reset the part of you that’s been operating in overdrive for too long. They work because they slow the spiral. They work because they remind you: you are not a machine.

High-achieving women don’t need more pressure. We need more pause. We need to stop mistaking stress for effectiveness. We need to stop believing that the answer is always “just push harder.”

You don’t have to earn your rest. You don’t have to justify your stillness. And you don’t have to figure it all out before giving yourself permission to feel better.

If you’ve been white-knuckling your way through your calendar, this is your sign. Close a few tabs. Step outside. Walk slowly. Laugh at how ridiculous it all feels. Breathe like it matters - because it does.

And if you need someone to walk through that reset with you, that’s allowed too. You don’t have to go back to burnout to get back to productivity.

There’s a different way to lead. A way forward that’s powerful because it’s honest, sustainable, and rooted in the version of you who doesn’t have to prove a thing.

She’s still in there. You don’t have to run to find her. Just breathe - and begin again.